Dieting...Clothes?

It's November. To many this means Thanksgiving, Black Friday sales, Christmas lists, shopping, shopping, and more shopping. To me, it's the end of year one of my clothing diet. I first came across the idea here (the Great American Apparel Diet site) but did not join in officially for fear of commitment. I liked retail therapy. I loved Forever 21. I liked being able to just pick up something mass produced and not have to rummage for stuff when I was looking for something in particular. I rummaged sometimes too but as a pastime, not based on need. After a couple months, though it was saddening at times when I would go shopping with my sister, I realized the clothing diet wasn't too bad and was actually saving me some dough so I stuck to it.

What is this clothing diet? I stopped buying new clothing, with the exclusion of underwear, swimwear and socks. I also allowed myself to buy accessories and shoes. I made one exception for Chinese New Year because you're supposed to wear something new, but then I ended up forgetting this new item (an awesome hoodie from Loyal Army) at my apartment when I went home for the New Year, so that was kind of a bust.

Why would I ever do such a thing? Environmental and financial reasons. I have never really been a shopaholic and I don't actually like going to the mall, but sometimes I would go shopping with my sister when she was on a hunt for something and I would be the one who ended up with a bunch of stuff while she left stores emptyhanded. Committing to a clothing diet has been a good way to control myself from buying things I don't actually need but just think are cute, saving me a good amount of money. Plus, why buy all this new stuff when there's plenty of pre-loved stuff out there waiting for a new home? People get tired of their clothes fast and ever-changing trends keep them going back to the malls and buying more. I like the idea that by buying pre-loved instead of new clothes, fewer raw materials are being harvested, less energy is being used for making and shipping the clothes, fewer clothes end up in the landfill, and the items you get instead end up being a little more unique. If I can help the environment just by doing this small action, then why not?

How do I cope? It was kind of hard, especially at first, and I would be sad when I left stores without anything in hand, like it was an unsuccessful shopping trip. Then I began coping by buying trinkets, like accessories, belts and purses. It's probably an equally terrible habit, but it would usually be one thing, just so I felt accomplished. It was stupid, I know.

I have occasionally rewarded myself if I'm really tempted to go shopping by buying Urban Outfitters' Urban Renewal stuff, which are pieces upcycled from vintage fabrics or clothes, or going to thrift shops or consignment shops. I love going to Crossroads. It's basically a lot of things you see in stores now anyway but cheaper! I make the occasional trip to Goodwill but it's hard to find things at the one back home. I think I have had better luck at Goodwill finding housewares and such for super cheap. There is also the $1 sale on Sundays at Jet Rag in the West Hollywood area, which is the best thing ever. True, there are plenty of items that are too giant, stained, fugly, or all of the above, but I actually bought a skirt there that fits perfectly for, guess what, a dollar. That paired with a top I got at Crossroads for $4 are pretty much my go-to outfit for when I need to ditch the jeans and t-shirt to look more professional. I also got a super long skirt that I wear as a tube dress. There were a few other things I bought from the Sunday sales at Jet Rag for upcycling but have not yet gotten around to it. Actually, funny story..I bought some ugly sweaters to take apart for a project and wore one of them as part of my Halloween costume and a lot of people actually liked it.. It's a really good place to find interesting patterns if you're into crafting because the stuff isn't as common and there are a lot of huge pieces of clothing, so plenty to work with. It's probably even cheaper than buying at a fabric store for the same amount of fabric in some cases.

BUT, I love love love going to flea markets. I really love the Melrose Trading Post. I feel like the people there price things pretty fairly and admission is only $2 ($1 with this coup!). Its only downfall is that it's a little bit smaller than some others, being restricted to the Fairfax High School parking lot. Tom and I have also been going to the Long Beach flea market at the Veterans Memorial Stadium but I like going there more for household items, decorations and furniture than clothes. Lots of good stuff there, though. In fact, we went there today and stocked up on old wooden crates for a special project Tom is working on for my craft station. :] I was able to find a crate with the Anheuser logo for $2. Whaaat? I know. I kept asking the vendor if that was right and he looked at me like I was stupid.

For now I want to keep going with my clothing diet as there has not really been anything that has gotten me to revert back to my Forever 21 shopping sprees. I'm pretty proud of myself for going this long though. It's been healthy for my wallet and the environment.

But probably not for my social life...

Ode to my 婆婆

It's been hard for me to talk about this in person so I have to just write it and get it out there.

My maternal grandmother passed away a week from today. Her physical and mental health had been deteriorating for the past few years but she was still always smiles until earlier this year when she had to move into a nursing home and then another nursing home. I knew she would be leaving us soon after because there really wasn't any getting better from the stage she was at, but a certain nurse, or murse I should say, at the Live Oak Rehabilitation Center in San Gabriel, California, didn't keep her head elevated like she was supposed to be so the food in her stomach leaked into her lungs. This led to her choking on it, which led to her final stay in the ICU, because the liquid in her lungs wasn't allowing her to breathe full breaths and she had to be on life support. Not only that, this particular nursing home refuses to admit that they had done anything wrong and also refuses to admit that certain murse had done it, but my mom knows who did it and I hope he's ashamed of himself. She was only my last living grandparent. No big.

Anyway, I really miss her. It still hurts to think about how hard she was struggling to breathe when I last saw her and held her hand, how I watched her for about four hours right after they took her off life support two Mondays ago, worried that each cough was her last breath and ready to spring up to call the nurse over to help her. It hurt to see her so confused about what was happening and why she had all these tubes coming out of her. We were all so happy last Saturday because she actually got a lot better over the course of the week and they were going to transfer her back to a nursing home, not the same one, of course, and then, just seven hours after my mom told me that, she passed away on Halloween. My sis and I took a stroll down memory lane by visiting places we used to go to with her and my grandpa in Chinatown when we were kids. They really liked to go to watch Chinese opera at this retirement home there (that tall building with the pink shutters) but we'd always stop for a bowl of wonton noodles at the Sam Woo there and then walk around the plazas beforehand. Afterward I would fall asleep as they watched their operas.

I interviewed her for a class project my freshman year of college. I learned a lot that I probably never would have found out otherwise. She told me about her education as a kid and how she used to be bad and steal money from the tin that her dad would hide his money in at his store to buy snacks. She also made sure to mention how she was very pretty. I didn't know her before she was my grandma, obviously, but from what I've witnessed and from everything I hear from her children, she has always been quite a character.

For one thing, she has always resisted speaking anything but her local dialect. She spoke this dialect called 厚街話 (houjie hua), which is similar to what they speak in Dongguan. I learned to understand it from her and she'd been in my life so long that I didn't realize it wasn't the same Cantonese I spoke until much later. To this day, pretty much all my relatives don't realize I understand it but I do so stop talking smack! Anyway, she had a really nice Mandarin-speaking doctor, who is now our entire family's doctor, whom she loved and would talk to in her dialect. My mom or my aunt was always there translating but I think she actually thought the doctor could understand her since she herself did not understand Mandarin and didn't realize translating needed to be done.

There was this one time I was at a market with her and this little Hispanic girl sitting in a shopping cart kept staring at her. I said to my grandma that this little girl was staring at her, thinking it was kind of funny, and she shrugged it off. After a while, she stared back and started talking to her in her language, "What are you looking at? What?" It was hilarious and not a rare occurrence. She also had a potty mouth and was prone to calling everyone "stupid kid," regardless of who they were, if she didn't like something they did. She called me that often, but I could tell she really cared about me and the rest of my family by the way she would make sure to remember things we liked.

My earliest memory of her is when I first met her in China at the age of three. All I know is that I was at her house eating the most awesome 排骨 (riblets steamed in delicious black bean sauce) with a spoon and she was sitting on one of those round stools with the plastered-on wood pattern around a square table of the same pattern and she had a couple crazy silver teeth. She then immigrated to the States when I was still really young. Some of the memories that stand out most are the times when I used to sit with her in her bedroom at our house in Rosemead and she would take out a small knife from her wooden drawers that are now in my sister's room and cut up apples and Asian pears. She would talk to me while doing so yet still be able to cut the fruit and de-core it with such precision. It was crazay! Oh yeah and in that same room that she at one point shared with my sis, she made her take down a poster of Aaron Kwok because "he was staring at her" and she didn't like it, but cat posters were okay. According to my mom, I apparently inherited irrational fears from her..

She was there to take care of me so I didn't have to be sent to a babysitter anymore, not that I have any recollection of that. She let me sit and eat (and choke on one time) gummy bears to my heart's content while watching the Disney Channel. She taught me how to fry eggs in a wok. And then it was onto Top Ramen and then, at first, boiling hotdogs in a wok but soon after it was frying hotdogs. My skills did not develop much further beyond that but I try.

The funeral was last week on Thursday, traditional Chinese. My sister said she liked doing the family bowing thing because it makes her feel like she's in a Young and Dangerous movie. It does kind of feel like that.. Because my grandma's a gangstaaa. :D We also learned to fold gold and silver ingots out of the money we burn. I feel like it was all a really nice way to honor her and ensure that she makes it safely to and stays happy on the other side, wherever that may be. She's off in her best clothes and jewelry and her favorite hat. We had a huge procession for her on the way to Rose Hills. I think she would've liked it.

By the way, Chinese rites regarding death are super interesting. My sis tried to read up on them and got scared. I'm going to try to too but not make the same mistake of reading before I sleep.

I miss my 婆婆. She lived a happy, long life, and even got to meet her great granddaughter. Hopefully I will tear up less and less whenever I look at her pictures because she's not suffering anymore and prolonging her stay here would've been selfish. I'll see her again someday.